well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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