I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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