Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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