I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
