so let's talk penis.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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