Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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