A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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