Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
