Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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