Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
