just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
