So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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