His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
where are my eyebrows?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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