i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
