Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize