after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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