everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
