Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
