People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
