Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
