My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
