Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize