shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
