It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
