I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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