I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's always time for handjobs
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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