your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
