That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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