Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
