You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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