I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
