Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
