I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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