forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you win again, gameday.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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