Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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