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You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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