She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
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At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.