alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
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well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.