Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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