how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
