The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize