he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
