She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
