How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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