I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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