No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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