Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
birth control should be required to get into college
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
