i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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