omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
