she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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