Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
