Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
