Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize