Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize