Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
sex in a hospital.. check
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
