I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wish I only lived at night.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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