Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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