im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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