I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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