i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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