I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
