Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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