We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
