It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
